I told you that my daughter made me join W@ight Watch@rs. Remember, I was fat, dumb and happy being fat, dumb and happy?
I’ve lost 7.2 lbs. so far. WW now has these fancy digital scales that indicates your weight down to the last ounce. Before I place the little napkin on the scale (to avoid any toe rot from the woman ahead of me, I suppose – but really, now that I think of it, how much does that damn napkin weigh???) I try to remove everything from my body that could possibly increase my weight. Last week, this is what I left in my car:
Underwire from my bra
The week before, I tried to sneak in with just my night-gown on but apparently, that is frowned upon.
I’m trying to live my life by WW slogans. In addition to “eating smarter” and “staying ahead of my hunger”, I am also starting to “move more”. Every day, twice a day, I walk briskly around our building. Usually one of my coworkers, who hates exercise even more than I do, will accompany me in the morning. Strangely, when I try to find her for our afternoon walk she is always involved in a very convoluted phone call. She’ll wave her arms at me while miming someone screaming and tearing out their hair. I find it very suspicious that she always gets a difficult call at exactly 3:15 every single day of the work week.
So, I’m eating less and walking more. My shopping cart is always filled with orange WW boxes with tiny portions of food in them. I have all kinds of 100 calorie packs of snacks at home and in my desk.
I’m as happy as a clam…a bored and hungry clam.