Emergency Prescription

Calling all xanax users!!  Please collect all extra xanax, blue, orange, white – whatever color you may have – whatever year it may have expired – and mail them to my home immediately.  I will reimburse each and every one of you for the cost of your postage because in the infamous words of Paul Revere, “The Sea Hag is coming, the Sea Hag is coming!!!!

Popeye and Swee’Pea and Swee’Pea Jr. and {{{{shudder}}}}, she who shall not be named will be arriving on Wednesday.  They were supposed to be coming on Friday morning, but they just keep pushing up the arrival time and damnit, I just don’t know if I have enough xanax to last me for their visit. 

My effexor can only cover a certain amount of anxiety and you all know that Christmas is the WORST time of year for me.   The shopping and cooking and baking and cards and wrapping and visiting and smiling – just the smiling alone can kill me…but her on top of all of that???????????????

Oh, and the last few weeks have not been unevenful….

I was sick last week with some horrible stomach bug accompanied by its best friend, the fricken’ headache.  I walked around for four days glaring at everyone through squinted eyes.

My best friend at work (the gay guy) was fired…on the same day as the Christmas party.  Management said that they had received too many complaints about the disrespectful way he spoke to the members.  But, you know what?  He wants to be a school teacher and he probably would never have had the nerve to quit his job with our company.  I talked to him about signing on with a substitute teachers’ service and getting his foot in the door that way.

My husband quit his job and is starting a new job on January 3rd.  He will work three days a week for 42 hours weekly.  His shifts will change from Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday one month and then switch to Thursday, Friday and Saturday the next month.  I’m not sure how this is going to work out, but he needed to make a change in his life.

I went Christmas shopping with my daughter last Wednesday night and then yesterday (except for the gifts I purchased for the Swee’Peas), I took all of the gifts back to the stores from whence (that’s a neener for Poolie!) they came.  Why the hell was I out buying gifts???  I haven’t shopped for years – what the hell came over me????  I’m the gift certificate Mom, Aunt, Sister – not the gift giving Mom, Aunt and Sister!!

The hairdresser and I thought that red streaks would be fun in my hair, but they turned out pink…ish.  So on Thursday I had to go back to the hairdresser and have her re-dye the streaks.  They look red now, but I’m not sure whether I like them or not.

Listen, forget about mailing me the xanax – I need something stronger.  I think a good old-fashioned trip to the liquor store is called for in this particular situation.

Wish me luck!!


About JJ

“"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.'” William Butler Yeats
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8 Responses to Emergency Prescription

  1. Poolie says:

    Eeeeeep! I don’t have any drugs but one of the docents gave a bottle of Patron tequila! You are welcome to it.

    Stay the course, my dear. And remember to breathe.


  2. I’d send you the goods but I need a double dose myself…

  3. Lynn says:

    Holy schnikees (to quote the former Crocodile man)!!! We have GOT to get together over break. Also, and just as an incentive, I’m all about the wine and boy have I got lots and lots. I think I also want to do a driveby your place — i’ll let you know when so we can set up the Sea Hag and get her on film 🙂 Has to be of some value, yes?
    No worries though, you’ll do just great. You’ve got fam around, and that’s all that’s ever necessary. xxoo

  4. LA says:

    YIKES!!!! I know you have the grace, strength and courage to get through this. Concentrate on the grandkids. Perhaps even suggesting that your son and the hag take advantage of the free babysitting and go out. Often.

    Give yourself a gift- make a mantra of “The world will NOT end if X isn’t done.” and chant it until you believe it. Whatever it is that MUST be done? Nope. Cards, cookies, whatever. Like the Whos in Whoville knew, Christmas comes even without bows, bells, whistles, and 98 varieties of cookies. You’re entitled to enjoy the holiday too, my friend. ~LA

  5. mercystreet says:

    I have a bottle of wine around here some where, I will share it with you.
    Happy Holidays. The babies will make it fun I am sure.

  6. Yankee Chick says:

    As much as I adore you, I will NOT part with my Xanax! Especially considering that sometimes I need it just to read FaceBook and Blogs! LMAO To deal with the Sea Hag, I recommend Duck Farts. They would be perfect. They consist of 1/2 Kahlua, 1/2 Baileys topped off with a splash of Brandy. The are supposed to built in shot glasses, but I make them by the ‘goblet’. A few of those and the Sea Hag will roll right off your back! Seriously, enjoy the babies and I hope all goes well! **hugs**

  7. terri t. says:

    By now you may be under the weather or Sea Hag may be under the house!!!….I can only hope the pleasure of having the Sweetpeas is helping you now. Good luck and try to enjoy some of the holiday..

  8. Well, I certainly hope everything worked out okay over Christmas….I have no Xanex but maybe by now you don’t need it anymore…(lol)….
    Wishing you a VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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