Stilettos and Straps

Last night I went out with my librarian friend and we talked about books and knitting and kids and cooking and men and Viagra and ENGLAND!!!!!  That bitch is going to be taking a course at Cambridge this summer!!!  THE UNIVERSITY OF CAMBRIDGE, I tell ya!  I am so freaking proud of her and how she has created a new life for herself after living through a horrible shit storm of a marriage.

University of Cambridge

Today I slept until 9:30 when a collection agent once again called my home looking for my 32 year-old son who owes money to everyone from his landlord to an ex co-worker from Pep Boys circa 1998.  I told him the same line I’ve been telling every collection agent for over 10 years.    “I’m very sorry, but I still don’t know where he lives, I still don’t have a current phone number for him, and I still want you to put my number on your “DO NOT CALL LIST”.

My sister and I went shopping today for shoes and bras.  We both bought two pairs of cute shoes at Boscov’s.  I bought three bras but she only bought one.  She has a hell of a time buying bras because her one boob is smaller than the other from her radiation treatments for breast cancer  a few years ago.  I was determined we weren’t leaving Boscov’s until I found her a bra that fit and had both boobs pointing in a more northerly direction.  I crawled on the floor for 10 minutes (the larger sizes always seem to be on the bottom of the racks) until I found her the perfect bra – it’s black and sexy and it fit like a glove…or a good bra.

We then had a lovely salad at Paneras and a Starbuck’s Frappuccino and now I’m home watching movies and blogging and getting ready to continue knitting my grandson’s hat.

Oh wait, here’s my “Horribly Embarrassing Moment of the Day”

I went up to the guy at the shoe counter at Boscov’s and asked him for four different pairs of shoes.  He brought them to me and I thanked him by saying, “Thank you so very much, sir!”

He nodded his head and walked away.

When another cashier started to ring me up, she asked me who had helped me get the shoes and I said, “that guy over there”

…and the cashier said……

“That’s not a guy, that’s a woman.”  I was horrified and embarrassed and she said, “Don’t worry, everyone mistakes her for a guy.”

Remember Pat from SNL?  That’s what it was like!!!

I'll take that in a Silver Size 8

No, NO!!!!!   She was more like Chaz Bono.  Now do you see how I could have made the mistake!!??

Maybe the girl is going through a gender change right now and she’s thrilled that I called her “Sir”.  I hope so!!

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About JJ

“"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.'” William Butler Yeats
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7 Responses to Stilettos and Straps

  1. poolagirl says:

    Oh God! I have done that too! But even worse….with Mia Farrow a few weeks ago….she asked our waitress when her baby was due. The girl said, “I have diabetes and carry my weight in the front. I am NOT pregnant!” I thought Mia was going to flip!

  2. It happens to all of us – mistaking a woman for a man (and occasionally vice versa.) I hate when that happens, lol.
    Bravo for your friend about Cambridge. That’s pretty damned impressive!

  3. Terri T. says:

    I guess we have to be less gender specific now…..Glad you found shoes and bras that you both liked. I never find both in one shopping trip myself.

  4. matzekatze says:

    hello joan, i can’t contact you via your blog, please drop me a line sachertorte82@gmx.at

    june’s birthday’s coming…shhhhh… please delete this comment 🙂

    matzekatze from bye bye pie

  5. Lynn says:

    This bitch is honored that you included her in your blog…but Oxford girlfriend. Not that Cambridge is a bad thing. Hell, I’m thrilled to be going to England, and could have been the Liverpool Community College and I’d have been thrilled. More importantly, thank you for living through the shitstorm with me; you truly are probably the one person who knows it all. Love you lady!!!

  6. LA says:

    Congrats to your friend! Amazingly cool opportunity.

    Hope this weekend’s adventures go okay. ~LA

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