My Mother of the Bride dress has been purchased for the wedding of the century. Thank God, it doesn’t look like any of the dresses pictured above.

It looks more like the slutty sister of the bride. HAHAHA!!


No, no, I’m only kidding!!!! This is not the dress!! It’s actually lovely – lovely enough that when I spotted myself in the mirror, I burst into tears. Some of the tears were because I finally realized my daughter is getting married. The other tears were because I never thought I’d be pretty again.

Don’t get me wrong. I know I present a nice image when I’m in public. I get my hair cut and my roots and highlights touched up every 4 weeks. I wear foundation and lipstick. My teeth are white from the whitening toothpaste and Crest strips that I use. My clothes are clean and my breath is fresh. I’m overweight but I try to dress appropriately to “accent the positive and eliminate the negative”.

All that being said, I haven’t felt “pretty” in years. I used to turn heads when I walked into a room – literally turn heads!! One day I was walking down the street and a man actually drove up the curb and almost hit a street lamp because he was watching me. Growing up, I always had a date on Friday and Saturday night.

And then slowly though the years, I became invisible.

My friends and I have discussed this phenomenon. It’s a gradual change, but it seems to happen to most women in their 50’s. Men stop holding doors for you. Young moms cut in front of you when you’re standing in line at the lunch meat counter. People brush past you in Panera to fill their soda as if you’re not even there.

I’ve gotten used to it and accepted it. I know I’m more than looks – I’m smart and funny and kind and am interested in what you have to say.

But for once, just once, while I was standing in front of that mirror in my aubergine gown , I felt pretty again.

That oughta last me ‘til I’m 80.


About JJ

“"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy.'” William Butler Yeats
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10 Responses to M.O.B.

  1. poolagirl says:

    Terry is right. They are just rude turd-heads. Trip them next time. You are gorgeous!

  2. yankeechick says:

    Oh, Joanie! It is ever so true…..you are absolutely lovely!! I’m glad that you saw that image of yourself to remind you of that, or perhaps more aptly, to refresh your outlook on yourself.
    And don’t feel badly because you’re 50 and people don’t hold doors any more. Just wait 4 or 5 years, until the 1st time some younger woman or girl, in her 20’s or 30’s holds the door for you! First time that happened, I thought WTF!?! What do they think i am…..some old lady!?! Then I realized that, yes, I was old enough to be their mother and they were being kind and considerate to the “Momish lady with the purple hair”. (probably thought I was a bit off my rocker & needed all the help I could get. LOL) That bothered me more than the young punks that can’t be bothered holding doors or crowding in front of you.

    Anyway….you are amazing in every way and I’m pretty sure that men most certainly do still “check you out”. You’re just not paying attention! ♥

    • JJ says:

      Peggy, the thing that cracks me up is that mentally, so many of my blog friends, including you are so young at heart! Thanks for the complements…and I think your purple hair is great! 🙂

  3. azrockhound says:

    From someone who was never pretty it’s kind of odd to think about still caring about it. I am allergic to 90% of cosmetics (including hair sprays, gels and most shampoos and conditioners) and I dress conservatively. It isn’t that I am going out of my way to be invisible; but I do think that some of us do precisely that, consciously or not. Bravo to you for bucking the trend!

    • JJ says:

      Leilani, when I started to write this entry, I was hesitant because I wanted to express myself without sounding as if I was bragging about myself in my youth. I hope I was able to do this.

      I can tell you that I can’t wear perfume anymore – my throat closes right up…and as soon as my hair is a uniform grey, I am most definitely stopping the monthly dye jobs!!!!!!

      • azrockhound says:

        I didn’t take it as bragging. It was more that you had me thinking. It’s easy to blame ageism for our becoming invisible – but I can’t help wondering if at least some of it isn’t also self-inflicted!

      • JJ says:

        Well, Leilani, that’s good then! It’s always good when I’ve written something that makes someone think twice!

  4. Betsy Schmidt says:

    Wow, I always thought you looked like Elizabeth Taylor – and still do! Those youngins’
    got nothing on you my dear. 😉 And you are soooooo funny!

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